Jan 21 2009
I really don’t want to tell this
I really don’t want to tell you about this, but it might strike a chord with some of you who have diabetes. I usually follow the rules made for the diabetics of this world. I exercise. I take my medicine as prescribed, including testing my blood sugars and injecting insulin. I also take Byetta, which is supposed to help me. It does - if I take it an hour before meals.
I am a spontaneous person and my husband is worse than me in this regard. When I’m hungry, I just like to grab something on the run. The easier it is for me to eat it and do something else at the same time, the more likely I am to grab it.
Before diabetes, that grab-it food was often cookies, cake, and candy washed down with milk or coffee. After diabetes, my favorites are down to cookies and candy. I don’t have cake in the house. It is impossible for me to have it around and not snack on it continuously until it’s gone. Fortunately, my husband prefers salty snacks to sweet ones. However, that does leave the cake snacking for me. Thankfully, cake is not usually within arm’s reach. It’s OK.
Cookies I can eat by the handful until they’re all gone, but the cake rule applies to cookies as well. The exception is when we’re making cookies to share with someone else. My husband and I love to make the oatmeal raisin cookies that’s often on the Quaker oatmeal box. We cut some of the fat and add applesauce. We make it with Splenda for baking. Splenda for baking is nice because it’s mixed with real sugar, but you use only half the amount called for in the recipe. Everyone loves these cookies and they’re relatively good for you. We leave a few cookies at home to eat and give away the rest. It’s wonderful! The house smells of cookies and there are a few laying around to eat, but not enough to be a terrible thing.
So, what’s left? Candy. Candy is easily grabbed. When I’m in control, I allow myself one small piece of candy after dinner. If I feel like I’m visiting the candy spot too often, the candy goes.
This is bad in a way because having candy around opens the path to sugar freakouts. There are times in my life when I feel like nothing is more important in my life than my need for an immediate dose of sugar. It was times like this that lead to me diagnosed with diabetes. So why is it happening now? I’m not sure. Perhaps I’m indulging myself (the poor little me act) or maybe it’s a real need. I need to start testing my sugars when this happens, but at the time, I’ve just got to have sugar NOW! Yesterday I ate half a bag of chocolate covered mints. I always buy the wrapped small candies for home, not the candy bars (except when I’m out). My blood sugar levels were really high after the mints and that feeling of need was still there.
I also feel really bad about doing it. Is there anything more stupid or hurting for my body than for me to go on a sugar freakout? I don’t think so, at least not in things I do to myself.
Today after Curves I didn’t stop at Starbucks for a latte and a sweet treat. That’s getting to be a three-times-a-week bad habit. I went to WalMart to buy wild bird seed, shampoo, and some cleaner for my stove. That sounds safe, right? I snagged a candy bar on the way out.
When I got home I made myself a low-fat turkey sandwich and had a tangerine to go with it. I know what to do. I usually do it. But sometimes I just go crazy.
Marilynne 
