Women Over Fifty

We are sitting in the study (computer room, guest room, storage room).  I am blogging as usual.  Himself is lost in a computer game.  Normal stuff. 

Slowly the stink of burning food sneaks into the room.  Is that still the burned potato smell?  Probably not.  Engrossed in what I’m doing, I say “Something’s burning.”  As the thought worms its way into our busy brains, we both rush for the kitchen.  

The dog’s carrots have burned dry.  My husband whisks the pan off the stove and submerges the burned carrots in water.  

I look into the pan and the carrots - the little, already peeled ones - are standing straight up in their bed of char, looking for all the world like orange muscles or some sort of orange eels with their heads up in the water.  I run for the camera, but my husband is already at work hacking them from the bottom of the pan.  In short order they are headed down the garbage disposal and the pan is soaking.

I didn’t touch them!  Ever!  My husband was cooking the carrots for the dog.

Our dog’s been on a diet since he weighed over 100 pounds at the vets.  The vet suggested we mix veggies with his food to add bulk while not adding a lot of calories.  The dog wouldn’t touch them until we started cooking them with unsalted beef bouillon.  Now the dog thinks they’re just fine.  Fine, except that my husband has taken on the job of cooking for the dog. 

My husband is the one who burned the carrots.

I’d say let’s call it even and forget it, but this morning I burnt my croissant in the toaster.

Marilynne 

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately creating an eight-page newsletter in Microsoft Word 2007.  I am fortunate in that during much of my career I not only wrote new material, but I also had to do my own Word Processing.  There are ups and downs to that. 

The upside:

• Everything was formatted and set up just the way I wanted it
• Formatting was limited to whether or not I knew how to do it
• I now know an incredible number of programs for word processing

The downside:

• I spent a lot of my time doing word processing instead of writing
• I tended not to want to do some complicated rewrites because of the amount of effort involved
• The word processing software was chosen by my company and I just had to deal with it.

So, I know a lot about computer equipment and word processing software.  When it came to creating the newsletter, it just took time.  Time spent cajoling people to send in their stuff and time to do the word processing end of it.

My readership includes a lot of computer savvy people with email addresses so I can send the newsletter by email, saving a lot of money and a lot of my time.  A very tiny portion of the readership needs a paper copy.  I know enough about Outlook to create a group mailing list so I don’t have to type in everyone’s email every time.  I just do it in a batch.

I have Word 2007 - a word processing program that many people are reluctant to upgrade to.  That includes my readership, a group of writers who write because they love the work, not because they’re getting rich.  I was unwilling to work in an older version of Word to keep them happy.  Obviously the best solution was to send a PDF file.  Briefly, a PDF file allows any reader to read and print the file.  It requires Adobe Reader, but that’s free and easy to obtain on the web.

The big problem here was I didn’t want to purchase the Adobe Acrobat just to do a newsletter once a month.  Adobe Acrobat is a wonderful program, but it comes with a wonderful price.  It’s priced more for a company than for an individual.

Microsoft has saved my day!  They have Microsoft Save as PDF or XPS as a free download for owners of Word 2007.  I downloaded the program, it did its thing, and now I can send as PDF or save as PDF with no more trouble than sending a document to a printer.  If you have Word 2007, you can download it from this location.

http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?familyid=4D951911-3E7E-4AE6-B059-A2E79ED87041&displaylang=en

When I was at work and sometimes formatted entire books, I didn’t like Microsoft Word.  Now that I use it for home tasks, I love it.  I especially love it that I can do PDFs now with no trouble.

Marilynne

Legal Note:  All software mentioned here is copyrighted by their respective companies.

What is it about an aquarium that fascinates us so?  San Diego has a pretty little aquarium on a hill above the ocean that’s connected to the University.  It’s called the Stephen Birch Aquarium. The four of us got in for $27 total.  What a deal!

When our children were little I would take them to the older version.  It was more of a work/study place then.  You could get in to see the fish for a donation.  There was a wide step next to the viewing windows, and my kids would get on that step and put their noses to the glass and start looking, calling out their finds, and nudging each other for the best spot.

Yesterday, we were at the new, smashingly beautiful aquarium and it was wonderful.  On a Wednesday afternoon there were only a few people.  We could see what we wanted to for as long as we liked.  Our company is from western Pennsylvania and they loved it.  I think they identified each fish personally with the names given on the panels above the windows.  We were there for hours!  

 Before we left we went outside to see the tide pools.  I don’t find them particularly interesting, but little children do.  They like to climb up the rocks and hang by their bellies trying to touch the inhabitants.  “Touch them with only one finger” the attendant calls.  Then he offers to bring something up so they can see it up close.  He takes a clear box, fills it with water and tells the kids, “I can bring up that one - or that one.”  Pretty soon he has a starfish and a hermit crab of goodly size in the box and they are all on the ground pushing each other for a good view and touching them.

One small boy distained it all.  He went to the climb-on exhibit, captured a plastic starfish, and walked around the area chewing on its legs.  I was trying not to think of the number of germs he was ingesting, but he was happy and quiet and his parents didn’t intervene.

The attendant stood up, looked out on the ocean and called “Whales, there are whales passing by!”  By then the sun was beginning to set and we shielded our eyes and looked out on the shiny sea.  There were black spots out there.  Were they whales?  I know that you can sight whales from the cliffs along the coast.  I believe him when he says there are whales out there. 

“I saw one spout!”  another person cries.  We all squint trying to see it, but I just step back and enjoy that gorgeous view of the setting sun shining on the water.

Our company loved it all.

Marilynne 

We have company this week and we’re loving it.  They want to see ocean?  We’ve got ocean.  They want to see fish?  We’ve got fish.  They love fried okra?  My husband’s specialty.  We’ve got the best fried okra in town.

My husband had already cooked bacon and eggs for breakfast.  We’d also enjoyed his bean soup for lunch.  So, when it came to cooking in last night, he was up again to make fried okra and pork chops smothered in mushroom gravy.  After I set the table I offered to make the potatoes.  We were out of room on the stove for frying pans so I decided to microwave the potatoes.

Have you seen the potatoes they sell that are encased in plastic and microwave in 15 minutes?  They come out so yummy, but they’re expensive and huge so I only bought two for the five of us.  Then I got to thinking that might not be enough so I decided to microwave the single red potato I had left in the pantry.

I don’t usually microwave potatoes unless I have them in their plastic shells.  How long should you nuke it?  Well, it was only one potato so maybe half of that time?

I cleaned and washed the potato and then wrapped it in wax paper and put it in the microwave for 8 minutes.  Why I chose wax paper over plastic we’ll never know, but I did.  I discovered that wax paper microwaved for 8 minutes doesn’t do well.  

I saw smoke rolling out of the microwave and opened the door.  (Dumb move itself.)  There was the wax paper on fire and the potato not far behind.  You wouldn’t believe the amount of smoke rolling out of that small space!  My company went running for the bedroom and shut the door, while my husband abandoned his okra and took on his Save The Females From Themselves personna and managed to get the burning mess outside and into a metal bowl.  We were saved!

Then the laughing and joking began.   The kitchen was filled with smoke - an unbelievable amount of smoke and everything smelled like burned potato.  Smoke burned our eyes.  We coughed.  Dinner was forgotten for a while.  We had to air out the house.  It was 45 degrees outside and we had the doors open and the fan going full bore.

Dinner was served some time later.  The two plastic encased baked potatoes were more than enough for the five of us.  Everyone ate their fill, but the topic of conversation was me, who couldn’t even bake a potato in the microwave.

I was banned from the kitchen.  My reputation as a baker of potatoes had gone up in flames.  

I ask you, is that a bad thing or a good thing?

Marilynne 

Our daughter always wanted children of her own.  When that didn’t happen for her, she and her husband took in two of his nephews to raise.  They were grade school age when they came to live with them so she didn’t get to start from scratch, so to speak.  They are both wonderful children, but you know, children aren’t all that easy to raise some times.

Recently she asked for advice on how to deal with some bad behavior.  She and her husband had both reacted angrily and she felt she had lost.  She doubted her ability to parent.  

Not so, I told her.  Here’s the advice I gave her.

Stay calm.  It’s important to present a calm united front.  If he’s mouthing off, leave the room, send him to his room until he can talk appropriately to you, or turn your back on him and refuse to give him attention until he can speak respectfully. 

Tell him you love him.  Reiterate to him (when he’s being relatively good) how glad you are to have him in your home and how much you love him.

Gratitude.  Children are not supposed to be grateful for what you give them.  They take it for granted.  When they grow up, then they can be appreciative.   You know that you have taken him out of a bad situation and given him a place in your home.  He just has to accept that it happened, nothing else.

Punishment.  Not taking him to his basketball games is a good, but harsh punishment.  Be ready to loosen up when he shows progress. 

Notes from school.  You might devise an automatic punishment for not bring school notes to you.  No desert for a week or some such.  Give him some incentive to give them to you.

Pouting is manipulative.  Just ignore the pouting or re-state the fact that it was his behavior that caused the punishment.  I don’t think he’s real clear on cause and effect yet.  Don’t consider pouting something you have to deal with.  Don’t react to it except perhaps to acknowledge that he’s pouting.  Definitely don’t react to it.

Hurting your feelings.  At the time he hurts your feelings, tell him you feel hurt.  Don’t keep bringing it up.  His job is to learn that hurting feelings makes the people he loves unhappy.  Your job is just to help him understand this.  Don’t hold grudges, you won’t have enough brain to remember them all.

Mouthing off.  When he tells you he has ears, he can hear you, just calmly tell him that you are glad to hear that he’s heard you.  Something like that.  Don’t respond to his mouthing off with anything that he wants.  Ever.

I hope this helps.  He is a handful.  That’s because he’s healthy, smart, and overactive.  You need to be strong enough to raise him into a good adult.

Love, Mom <who would be completely worn out dealing with this>

My husband was raised on bean soup, fried potatoes, hamburger sometimes, and any vegetables that were in the garden.  For him, it’s comfort food.

Today his sister is visiting us from the East Coast.  She got to talking about how much she liked soup, especially bean soup.  I laughed and told her my husband and I had talked about making a big pot of bean soup to eat over the three days of the visit.  Bean soup is nourishing by itself.  It’s not only cooked beans, but also carrots, onions, celery, potatoes, and when we have it, a bit of ham.

Hubbie is out in the kitchen now chopping vegetables.  If I were cooking, I’d put huge chunks of veggies in the soup while it cooked and let it cook down.  When he’s cooking he chops everything finely before he puts it in.  Sometimes he even precooks the vegetables.  Every cook to his or her own methods.  Certainly the bean soup is tasty.  Plan on the beans cooking for several hours before they’re ready to eat.  They do pretty well in a crock pot, but may take a really long time to cook in one.

Here’s how we make bean soup:

1 pound small white beans
2 or 3 fat carrots, peeled and chopped
1 or 2 potatoes, peeled and chopped
3 stalks celery, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
Ham, bacon ends, or salt pork to taste (optional)
Plenty of water

Pour beans onto a shallow plate, spreading them with your hands, rotating the beans for a good look.  Remove rocks, dirt clods, and funny-looking beans.  If it doesn’t look wonderful, throw it away.  Beans are cheap.

Pour beans into a 4-quart kettle and cover with water.  Swish the water around a bit, then pour off the water.  Continue to do this until the water pours clear.  Then cover the beans with water about two finger joints deep above the beans.  Beans absorb a lot of water while they cook so keep an eye on them.  Don’t just put a lot of water in first or you’ll be trying to boil it off - probably without success.  Plan on adding water as necessary, a small amount at a time.

Bring the beans to a boil, then turn down the stove until the beans are just simmering (almost boiling).  On our stove that means the stove is nearly off.  Simmer until the beans and veggies are soft, stirring occasionally.  The closer the beans are to being done, the closer you have to watch them to be sure the soup doesn’t stick to the pan or scorch.  The liquid should begin to thicken with the beans which  burst while cooking.  You want the liquid to be thick, not thin and clear.

If you cooked the beans with a ham bone or slices of bacon or salt pork, now is the time to take them out of the soup.  If there’s ham still sticking to the bone, cut it off and add it to the soup.  If you cut up the bacon or salt pork before putting  it in the soup, you can take it out or not depending on your taste.

We usually let everyone salt and pepper the soup to taste.  For me that means a little pepper.  For my husband that means a goodly shake of salt and pepper.  You can see why we don’t salt it first.

If you like tomatoes in your bean soup, use the canned chopped tomatoes and add them toward the end of your cooking.  Tomatoes will increase the likelihood that your soup will stick.

Enjoy.  My husband serves this with saltines and butter.

Marilynne 

We went to a great party last night.  We were celebrating the 40th anniversary of my husband’s brother and his wife.  There were more than 100 people there and we were served prime rib, chicken, or fish - our choice.  Everyone was in the party mood.  The food was great, the band was splendid, the people congenial -  all the good things that make up a good party.

The bride of 40 years doesn’t look it.  For that reason, I’m putting her picture here.

Doesn’t she look great!  She must have been married in the womb.  No, seriously, I was there at the wedding.  She was just a young Mexican-American girl who was marrying the man she loved.  I guess she was right.  He was a keeper - or should we say she was a keeper?

Their two daughters and four grandchildren were there.  The next picture is dim, but she is dancing the cha cha with her oldest grandson.  He was learning as fast as he could.

Isn’t that sweet?  The children were so well behaved, though they were beginning to lose it when we left about 10:30PM.  That’s late for children and it’s especially late for children who are at a grownup party.

Here’s another picture.  The only granddaughter is having a very grownup discussion with #1 grandson.

Isn’t that sweet?  It’s great when families get together to celebrate, isn’t it?  I hope there are many more celebrations for this couple and for the people who came together last night to celebrate with them.

Marilynne

I am getting ready to go to a party and the shirts we want to wear need to be ironed.  Ironed!  I thought that went out when they invented wash and wear!

The first is a western shirt sold under the Wrangler label.  It’s plaid.  I remember when plaid was a shoo in for not needing to be ironed.  This shirt, which I really like, looks like a wrinkled mess unless you iron it.  It does hold it’s ironed surface well, but I’d be ashamed to have my man go out in public with it unironed.  (I have some old-fashioned values.)

The other is a blouse sold under the Lane Bryant label.   Again, I love this blouse.  It’s black with a thin red strip running through it, elbow-length sleeves, and some ruffles running down the front of it.  I knew it might need ironing when I bought it because it has latex in the fabric.  Latex makes it more comfortable, but it does nothing for the neat touch.  The blouse would probably pass inspection unironed except for the ruffles.  The ruffles are cut on the bias and absolutely need ironing or they curl up into little worms down the front.

When I went to set up the ironing board I found it already set up - backwards with the narrow end toward my right elbow.  Only two people live in this house and I didn’t do it.  My grinning husband told me he’d set it up himself so he could iron down the points on a favorite cowboy shirt.  Don’t you love it?

I could go on by asking why the shirt collar curls at the ends, but I won’t.  Most of us don’t iron any longer.  Most of us would love to trash the iron and ironing board, but are afraid to.  We’re always worried we’ll buy something we really like and it will need to be ironed.

 Marilynne 

Since I first wrote about my sugar freakouts, I’ve been thinking more about exercise and how the body changes in response to it.  I was an overweight  marshmallow before I started exercising at Curves.  Now my body is developing muscle.  I find it amazing to sit here and feel that I’m sitting on muscle.  My back is straight, my body tight.  That’s a big change and a good one.

I’m looking now for cause and effect and thinking about what might cause that deep, crazy need for sugar.   I’m wondering if it’s an after-response to exercise.  I’ve never been an athlete so I don’t know what an athlete’s needs are when it comes to food.  I don’t know what a diabetic’s needs are when I suddenly begin to exercise and develop more muscle.  It’s a big change when you’re over fifty and a marshmallow. 

So, I’m in research mode.  That means lots of testing my blood sugars and recording what I eat.  I don’t mind exercising.  I don’t mind logging test results, but I HATE logging my food.  

I log my food (sometimes) and my exercise (usually) on sparkpeople.com .  It’s nice to have a tool that I’m in control of.

Marilynne 

My sister-in-law Stacey was a great hostess.  She and my brother Bob could really make you feel special.  They’d cook together and manage to visit with everyone at the same time.  She was a great one for the little touches, like cloth napkins tied with ribbons and embellished with a sprig of rosemary. 

I especially remember the party they hosted for one of my parent’s big anniversaries.  They had a lovely yard, one with a nice place for the children to play and a great place for parties.

My mother and father had been guests of many huge parties.  This time, my mother had told us they didn’t want a big party for this anniversary, they just wanted their family there.  Stacey and Bob hung jillions of ribbons in the trees.  Everywhere there were pale rainbows of long ribbons swaying in the breeze.  I had never seen anything so lovely.  So my parents got their party with just family there.  But Stacey and Bob had made it special.

Any time you complimented Stacey on those special touches, she’d thank you and say “Company is good for a house.”  She was talking about the special things you do to make the house extra nice, the things you buy or replace, the room that gets an extra special cleaning, the kid’s rooms with everything put away - temporarily.

I’m thinking of Stacey today as I begin to get the house  ready for company of my own.  I’m an indifferent housekeeper, I’d rather go shopping for something to pretty-up the house, than to clean it so it’s especially nice.  I’m thinking of Stacey’s special touches.  I wish she were around to give me ideas, but she died of breast cancer several years ago.  I still miss her - particularly when I’m getting my house ready for company.

Marilynne